I remember late nights, or rather early mornings, at Fort Grant; trying to keep all the boys hushed while you got off the phone with Daddy. Your voice changing slightly to appease him just enough so you could carry on in our debauchery. Our favorite sins. Those memories will never fade. I had no problem sharing you because I knew he was just your toy. Another 19yr old ploy. A means to an end. A temporary high. An angel in disguise.
Your hand touches my breast and it's so warm. You're reaching across me to put my seat belt on. We are on our way to our first rave. New Years Eve. I might never get that song out of my head. It had already been a year and some change since our first date, and I knew where my heart was... And yours.
Your lips were the softest I'd ever felt and in that moment I realized they were the only lips I'd ever need. I was standing on the table for the company I was signing for at AVN/AEE and you were on break from your own. You pushed and shoved through the gigantic crowd and walked right up to me, tapped my boot and gave me the 'come hither' finger. I leaned down, took a knee and you completed my whole world. Right there in front of that whole perverted and beloved crowd. I was instantly on my knees for you. You kissed me and I knew. They knew; Everyone knew.
When you're crying and he just walks by, I'm the one there to comfort you. When I'm lost and wonder what's next or better yet 'why', you are there. It's a give and take that I couldn't be prouder to be a part of; couldn't be happier that it exists. The entire world can see everything we are doing and every inch of us, ta boot -- and we live for it. I Love it.
I'm so emotional yet I can't even cry. So much has happened. But it doesn't change a thing. It won't be long until you're gone. And when you are, it still doesn't matter. They say everything happens for a reason.. and well, I never believed it. Until now.