A lot has happened since I last updated. You know, it's been really hard for me to blog sometimes; I get started and then I get discouraged half way through because I feel this isn't the right outlet for the things I feel like yappin' about. I feel it's not sexual enough or it's just me ranting (per the usual). But a really good friend of mine recently told me that none of that matters because that's all part of me, and 'me' is what y'all wanna see. Not to mention that at the end of the day, a HUGE portion of this is for myself as well. Shooting, writing, posting, etc.. This Georgia girl that I am... She's for me as much as she is for y'all. She is me. I am her. But also, she is my escape from the monotony that is this mortal coil.
Anyway, so I decided recently I needed to update my bucket list seeing as though I've most definitely accomplished most everything on there (the one I created at like 15, right?) and I decided why not write about it as well. So I get started, trying to come up with at least 10 things and I started realizing just how fucking hard it is. I mean, shit... I've done SO MANY things in my life. I've been on this planet for 29 years and I've seriously particpated in some things that people strive their entire life to do and still never accomplish. I mean making this list is REALLY fucking hard... like, "Well wtf? What do I do now?" I've literally done almost everything I've ever wanted to do. My goals have been met... so now what? So then the existential crisis sets in.. LOL. Dun, Dunn, DUNNNNNNNN.... "OMG NOW WHAT? I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR! HOLY SHIT IT'S JUST DEPRESSION FROM HERE ON OUT BECAUSE I HAVE ZERO GOALS! I COULD DIE TOMORROW AND BE PERFECTLY FINE!"
Now I know this sounds so ridiculous and like 1st world problems and pretty girl problems big time, and that makes it about 1000 times worse but ya... It's there. I start feeling bad for all the amazing shit I've been able to do; all the mass amounts of amazing memories that I barely even remember because there is so damn many of them. And then this feeling happens and the only way I can describe it is what I imagine survivor's guilt to feel like.
I wanna share the world with y'all. I need to learn how to work a nice camera and travel the world and share it with everyone. I don't know if I've ever told y'all but being a travel journalist is my dream job; Aside from being a lesbian pornstar of course. Lesbian erotica is my #1 always but traveling and telling the world about it is a close 2nd. I guess I just need to figure out a way to combine the two. I need someone to help me with the production end really. I can't do it all on my phone otherwise I would -lol.
So anyway, I created this bucket list and I'm gonna post it but y'all can't laugh, okay? :D who knows.. I'm sure it will change some a long the way.
My New Bucket List
- Visit every continent at least once (I'm well on my way for this one)
- Jump on a cargo train with just a backpack and ride it to wherever it takes me!
- Have a book published
- Own my own barrel of JD from the distillery
- Own some land in the country/ have a farm (this is obvi way way way in the future bc I love living in LA for now)
- Start an ELO tribute band
- Win a Swing Dance competition
- Backpack around the world for an entire year then write a book about my adventures
- Create a Sex Worker Summer Camp (like a weeklong amazing vacation for all of us to mingle and learn)
- Fall in love with life over and over again